i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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