addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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