D3 body, D1 cock
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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