Me too!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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