im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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