We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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