i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
