My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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