i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
