THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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