I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
