just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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