break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
