she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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