It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
