Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
