so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
