i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
