How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want a musical about memes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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