hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
