omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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