WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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