just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
