do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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