I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
