My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
