i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
