it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
