yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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