I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
