I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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