I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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