Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize