piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
