do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
are you so shy because you have an std?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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