What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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