Non-Jews are for practice
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
