Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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