so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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