last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
