So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
