you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
