is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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