chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Quick, to the slutcave!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
