Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
