Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
