i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
