living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
