U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
