i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
