You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
