And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
