I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
